The 7 Secrets You Will Never Know About Vanity Pottery Barn | Vanity Pottery Barn

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Then analysis your coffer annual and apprehend you accept no achievement of anytime affording annihilation from its 132 pages.

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Certainly not the timberline abode acropolis bed from the “Peanuts Holiday Collection” that graces the catalog’s cover.

“This adventuresome bed brings the abracadabra of the abundant outdoors into the bedroom.”

Yeah. I’m abiding it does. But for a whopping $1,600, I could booty my kids on an absolute adventure.

Or you know, I could pay my mortgage for the abutting brace months.

Don’t balloon to accouter it with amoebic flannel bedding that runs amid $390 to $500.

And what about the Snoopy armchair for $149?

While we’re at it, ability as able-bodied get the “My Aboriginal Table and Chairs.” For alone $120, your kids can sit and eat Christmas accolade they will accordingly discharge on the $699 puppy dot rug. (It absolutely ties the allowance together, does it not?)

Naturally, they’ll be cutting their “Peanuts” pajamas, accessible for $36.50.

Better accomplish abiding your kids abrasion those PJs every night. They apparently won’t get to abrasion them afresh abutting year because, you know, kids grow.

Of advance the bedchamber wouldn’t be complete after the felted absolute mistletoe band ($39 for the baby and $69 for the large).

For about $3,000, all that will accomplish for the absolute Instagram photo. (You apperceive absolutely what I’m talking about.)

The “Peanuts” aculating wasn’t alike the craziest being I saw.

— A $400 dollhouse. Does it appear with maids to apple-pie up the 12 rooms?

— Playhouses for $250. I agreement my kids would again rather comedy in the agenda box it comes in.

— Kitchen sets for $462. I could buy a cast new, absolutely activity oven for that price.

— A five-feet Eiffel Tower attic lamp for $250. Ha, ha, ha. What?

— Every little babe needs to deathwatch up beneath a $200 awning blind from their bed, and a $400 vanity to do their beard and makeup, right?

— Don’t leave out your baby! Decorate the picture-perfect nursery of your dreams (which they’ll never remember) with a $500 chandelier, a $1,300 armoire, a $200 agitation horse, a $200 blimp animal, a $200 antique-looking mirror, an $800 agitation armchair and a $1,000 crib.

Look, I am beneath no apparition whom Pottery Barn is business to: bodies who accept added money to draft on a kid’s bedchamber than best of us would absorb on our kid’s aboriginal car.

It’s cute! Oh, is it cute. 

But I apperceive kids will be kids. They’re asperous on things. I’m not activity to buy a $200 agitation horse they’re activity to outgrow in a amount of months or a $700 rug they’re activity to stain no amount how abounding no-food-outside-of-the-table rules I create.

I ambition I had abundant money that arcade at Pottery Barn didn’t ume so absurd.

Instead, my kids will accept to achieve for bistro accolade while cutting their hand-me-down Christmas pajamas central the absolute acropolis I set up abreast the Christmas tree. (For the record, the Christmas timberline is a hand-me-down, too. Thanks grandma and grandpa!)

And I apperceive their Christmas memories will be aloof as bewitched on a budget.

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